I wasn’t into cats before and didn’t know much about them. And even though I grew up with them, they were all outdoor cats that were never spayed or neutered and never saw a vet. Only a handful ever lasted more than a year or two, so I never really had an opportunity to appreciate them.
Once in a while, cats would literally crawl up on my doorstep, and there isn’t a way to refuse that kind of request, is there? I took several in, but they ran away each time, and when one disappeared, it was like losing a sock. Eventually, I managed to keep one. Each time, it was an incredible adventure, sometimes tragic, sometimes joyful.
Cats are like humans. They all have very distinct characters. They have all the emotions that humans have, but theirs are deeper and stronger. In certain ways, they are superior to us. They can see and understand things that we don’t see and don’t understand.
True friendship between a cat and a human is based on equality. It is one of the purest forms of friendship. A cat demands very little but gives back a lot because they are permanently happy, and this happiness is infectious, I believe.
They have unique personalities. And when some poor, abandoned, terrified cat finally realizes they are in a safe place and they have people who love them, it just makes you feel better about life. (Not me suddenly feeling emotional thinking about how my rescued cat must have felt as a kitten.)
I saw a trend that said, “Get a wet toothbrush and gently brush your cat’s head with it; if their eyes become teary and sad, it only means they were never groomed by their mother and so they get triggered and emotional. “Isn’t this how you make a cat cry? All those memories of her mother come flooding back. Oh yeah, that’s the face of a cat who is reminiscing about her childhood,” I thought to myself.
Out of curiosity, I had to try this. My cat is very much a “pet me on my terms” kind of cat, so I was expecting her to leave, but her reaction made me tear up. She began gnawing the toothbrush, so I immediately stopped. I didn’t want to trigger sadness. She was alone as a young kitten, so she probably didn’t get to spend a long time with her mother.
I became even more curious and decided to go deeper into it. Could it be that cats get all these emotions just because they never got groomed by their mother when they were young? Here are some things I learned:
- Cats just like to be brushed most of the time, some more than others. I think it is more pleasurable than relieving an itch (most of the time, at least).
- They like being groomed actually, and find it relaxing because it removes scents from their fur, making them less easy for predators to smell, and because it is a gesture of friendship from another cat that they would only do when it was safe. They do it themselves, and it seems to calm them, presumably because it is making them harder to smell. I think being petted is like being groomed. They especially like to be petted in places they can’t lick directly themselves (they groom themselves by licking their paw and using that to wipe these areas, which is presumably less effective). They like brushes because, like cat tongues, they have bristles, so they feel more effective. They probably work better because more surface area is in contact with fur than with a flat object.
- Cats enjoy being groomed, petted, or brushed most of the time but aren’t itching for it. If they haven’t groomed themselves or been groomed for a while, they probably start to want to groom themselves or be groomed more, not certain how that would feel. I would guess that perhaps that is more like an itch or a compulsion.
- Anxious cats seem to often over-groom, so they crave grooming, petting, or brushing more when feeling anxious. It is kind of like hugs are for humans. Most of the time, a hug is nice, but sometimes it can be a bad time, particularly when you are feeling bad. You want them more often, and it feels like you need one, but rarely do you feel a strong need to have one right away, like an itch.
- Cats do like being brushed their way, and if they’re used to it, they demand gentleness when being handled, no matter how tough they may be as individuals. They also have a preset limit of how long you’re allowed to touch them (for any reason), which of course varies from cat to cat, but when you’ve reached that limit, they’ll let you know.
My cat has had a love-hate relationship with brushes since then. She’d love having me brush her until she’d had enough. But most times, when she’s really into it, it’s almost like I hear her say, “Thank you, human. I have seen many terrible things in my days, but this gentle brushing makes me long for those simpler times. However, the kind and gentle nature you’ve displayed teaches me that the world is not as cruel as I sometimes see it to be”.
This is very interesting I must try